Some questions with regards to shaving:
1.) Does anyone actually enjoy shaving? (Outside of fetishes & 19th Century barbers?)
2.) Is there any way to know if people of the opposite sex like / don’t like facial hair until it’s too late? And if so, how come no one has marketed a device that can answer this question for us early in the dating process? Do we really need that many ring-tones, when we really just want to know if they’ll go out with us?
3.) Do any of those bearded indie rockers realize how lame they actually look? I mean, really? Does the beard make their music bad, or does the bad music stimulate beard growth? Do I really want to know the answer to that question?
4.) How much longer can us clean-shaven weirdos hold out for a date without an indie-rock beard? Five years? …Six?
5.) Will someone ever develop facial hair that doesn’t appear inherently gay? If so, what would we call it?