For years now I’ve been a big fan of Celebrity Starr, even though I rarely talk about them, and it is incredibly sad that traffic will be driven to my blog now that I’m writing about them for the first time.
I remember when I first saw the obscure film Celebrity was featured in, and I immediately decided I would name-check that film in my post to ingratiate myself with Starr’s fans. In fact, I have modified an anecdote I used to tell girls in bars, which I will change to custom fit the details of Celebrity’s life, so you can understand how important they were to me through the brief-but-important encounter that sounds made up as I relate it to you.
As the years went on, I became more and more of a fan of Celebrity’s work, and even defend questionable choices that border on racist and sexist, because I am such a fan to an extreme level that I can find value in even the most outrageous piece of dreck, and can rationalize almost anything with my minimal understanding of a liberal college education.
I would provide you with some links to an obituary that is not the one most media outlets are using, and a few photos taken by some paparazzi that TMZ was a little too timid to use, but I’ve decided that my enjoyment of Celebrity’s work is something so special that I don’t feel like sharing it with the world at large, and believe that “true fans” wouldn’t have to Bing the appropriate information, and thus might call me out when I get it wrong. So, instead, I’ll just reference a lyric from their third album, which had the radio hit I can quote from memory.
Celebrity Starr even made me cry at my desk when I remembered a particularly poignant aspect of their fame today, and how it relates to their death. Therefore, I will use emotional one-upsmanship to make sure that anyone else who posts about Starr’s passing will realize that I was affected by the death more than anyone else.
In spite of Celebrity Starr’s staunch agnostic beliefs, I will offer a Christian blessing in closing to make sure that their memory lives on in a system of thought that Starr did not give any specific value to.
Yours in clickbait,